Driving in Costa Rica

Driving a car in Costa Rica is an experience that will definitely accelerate the aging process. First, there is the interesting dichotomy: Ticos (Costa Ricans) never seem to be in a hurry with regards to anything. They operate on what we Gringos refer to as “Tico time”….meaning S L O W. Well, that is, until you put one of them behind the wheel of an automobile. In this situation, they only know one speed…..FAST. They drive as though they only have 5 minutes remaining to drive 50 miles in order to pick up that million dollar check for winning the lottery and if they are late, they don’t get the check.

Now, in order to go this fast, it means they have to spend almost as much time in the left lane as they do in the right lane. We’re talking narrow two lane roads here. If there is a vehicle of any description in front of a Tico, it MUST be passed. And, it does not matter if it happens to be on a blind curve, hill, or any other vision hindering situation. They get in the left lane and pass whether there is, or may be, an oncoming vehicle or not. To avert a head on collision, the Tico in the wrong lane simply comes back into the right lane a mere second or two before colliding with the oncoming car and any vehicle in its way has to make room or get run off the road. On occasion, the two lane road is forced into the unsuitably temporary form of a three lane road, with the oncoming car partly off the road, the passing car centered on the double yellow line, and the car being passed half way off the right lane portion of the road. It’s a whole lot like driving the little dodge ‘em cars at the county fair.

But, of course, I forgot to mention that in addition to the hazards of Ticos passing everything in site, there are the obstacles which make the whole experience even more harrowing. These obstacles would be Ticos standing in the road at the very frequent bus stops. For some reason, it must be thrilling for them to flirt with death by standing actually in, not beside, the road. And, the same goes for the many, many bicycle riders. These two types of obstacles require the driver on the side of the road where people are defying death to swerve over the double yellow line (all roads have double yellow lines from beginning to end….it’s the mountains after all and the roads are very curvy) while any oncoming vehicle has to swerve a little bit off the road to avoid a head on collision with the driver who is attempting to avoid an involuntary manslaughter suit.

As if all that is not enough, there are the potholes, well, craters actually, that are so plentiful that it is nearly impossible to get anywhere without hitting as least a few hundred of them which at high speed can cause irreparable harm to one’s tires (also know as a blowout followed by a flat tire).

Many cars and ALL large trucks and buses routinely take their half of the road out of the middle. This way they don’t have to swerve to dodge bicyclists and pedestrians for the most part. It simply requires drivers of all other vehicles to be ready at the brakes and quick with the steering wheel to avoid a nasty, nasty meeting with the guy in the middle. This is especially true on all blind curves and hills which make up 90% of all roads and byways in Costa Rica.

So, from what I can tell so far, it is best to have a vehicle with 4 wheel drive for the roads that are gravel and those that are muddy in the rainy season. And, it would be best if the vehicle is already pretty beat up with lots of dents and scratches because the “gravel” roads are actually rocks the size of one’s fist and they do bad things to nice cars. And, finally, it would be best for your beat up, old car to have rocket thrusters which can make your vehicle instantly airborne at the press of a button and thus avoiding all those vehicles coming at you at a high rate of speed and in YOUR lane. As Dennis Miller says, “That’s just my opinion……I could be wrong.”